Or so I thought

You all lied.

You all went to ecp, didn't tell me.

What am I supposed to say?

I AM NOT A PART OF YOU GUYS AND I UNDERSTAND.

Stuck like glue

Don't you think I feel the distance too?

But why do must I push myself into a place where I'm not needed.

A want and a need is different. You may want me, but you don't need me.

A need is more important than a want. Of course I love you, I treat you as my best friend.

But honestly, I've felt that you only treat me that way when they're not around.

Sure you have many choices of friends, and no dear I'm not jealous, but remember our heart to heart? Yes, thats the topic of what I fear. Favouritism.

We used to be so so so tight like glue, but maybe the glue's expiring soon.

I know sometimes you flare up at me because we're really close and you're not afraid to express your ugly side to me, and me too, but you know, I don't feel comfortable telling you everything nowadays and I'm sure you feel the same way and that's sad because you were always there for me and I was always there for you. We had so much trust.

I thought this friendship could last forever but maybe I was wrong. It hurts to even type it and I assure you I'm crying right now (lol I feel so dramatic).

Anyway the point is, I think you've come to trust and love her more than me, and maybe I'm getting really close with Tricia and that makes you feel uncomfortable deep down.

I still do trust you, but I feel so so so dumb when I found out about the "bunny ears" on your hand today. But its okay if you don't tell me things anymore, like I said I won't force myself into your life. You don't need me there as an advisor, your secrets keeper but I hope you'll always remember the times when we laughed so hard til we cried and our forest walks and pee adventure and getting stuck in the kitchen and every single thing and miss them cos I sure will :')

I've tried so hard to push you into aspects of my life I'm afraid you'll feel left out like in church and cell but I've come to learnt there's only so much I can do when you don't want (not a need, a want) to be there. I've known already, from when you used the time you said you wanted to spend time with me to agree us to going with them to buy the long wallet even without me agreeing. And maybe I should move on.

I'll always remember when we laughed til no end and our secrets and eeeeeeeeeevery single thing we did, our plans to dress up and stalk people, plans we never did come to do. I'll still be there for you whenever, just give me a ring, yea? But.. just don't expect me to push myself into you again.

See you bff, and I hope B treats you well.

And I wish F, Jy, Lx, Yt can give you the love you deserve that maybe I was uncapable of letting you feel, try as hard as I might.

:')